


A Kiss to Build a Dream On

by msraven



Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Badass!Nicky, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Slow Burn, badass!Joe, mild violence, minor mention of non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:54:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26972485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msraven/pseuds/msraven
Summary: "Wow," Nile said. "You sure know how to screw up a first impression."Nicky ignored her and rubbed at his forehead where a headache was forming. Nile was both wrong and right. Wrong, because this morning wasn't the first time Nicky had met Yusuf—or Joe as he was known at the time. And right, because Nicky's actual first impression wasn't much better.Joe and Nicky meet again sixteen years after high school. A Teacher AU.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 152
Kudos: 545





	1. Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> My deepest thanks, as always, to the amazing kultiras for her help and encouragement. ♥ 
> 
> Special thanks to [Lyde](https://nicolodigenovas.tumblr.com/) for the Italian advice.
> 
> Title taken from a [song](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Kiss_to_Build_a_Dream_On) recorded by Louis Armstrong.

The old Guardian Academy was a small, but well renowned private school in upstate New York. The staff was equally small, which meant that the middle school teachers all taught multiple subjects. This would be Nicky's sixth year teaching English and History for Guardian and after a summer away, he was looking forward to getting back to his normal routine.

Nicky had gone back to Italy for the summer to help with some family business and to take part in the large reunion his extended family insisted on every couple of years. He'd made sure to be back a few weeks before school started to get over the jet lag and had ended up spending most of it getting over a nasty cold he'd caught on the flight home. On his first day back on campus, Nicky wasn't surprised to learn from Nile that Mr. Hubbard had finally retired—the man's tenure at the school had started before most of the current staff had been born. Nicky had been expecting Andy, their head of school, to push Nicky into taking over phys-ed since he'd done some subbing for Mr. Hubbard in the past few years.

"Oh," Nile said. "You didn't hear? Andy finally hired an art teacher."

For a small private school like Guardian, it was their variety of electives and extracurricular activities that separated them from the local public schools. For parents who wanted to round out their children's education, having an arts program was a key component. They had a decent music program at the school, but Andy had proved to have extraordinarily high standards for who she wanted to lead their art program. That she'd finally found someone was great for the school, but Nicky was selfishly thinking of the funds he'd been lobbying for to add an online component to their history curriculum. He already had to compete against the STEM programs and wasn't looking forward to dealing with a shiny new addition to their staff. 

"Seriously?" Nicky grouched. "Art?"

Nile was aware of Nicky's request for funding and patted his hand consolingly. "It doesn't mean Andy will pull your funding."

"She better not, especially for something so frivolous."

"Come on, you don't really mean that."

Nicky knew that Nile had some interest in art as well, but he was too busy thinking of the new archeology program he'd tested over the summer.

He waved away her protests. "It's just art, Nile. It's not important and definitely not more important than History or English."

Nicky felt the pinpricks on the back of his neck that told him there was someone standing behind him and, judging by how Nile's eyes went wide, that someone was the new art teacher. Nicky turned around to apologize and then froze. 

"Yusuf!" Andy called out from the other door into the teacher's breakroom. 

Nicky watched in fascination as Andy stepped forward with a wide grin to accept Yusuf's exuberant hug and then let out a laugh when Yusuf used their hug to spin her in a circle. 

"You look great, boss."

"You look okay," Andy replied, which made Yusuf chuckle, and then she pulled him out the door she came through. "I'll introduce you later. First, I want to catch up."

"Wow," Nile said when the two were gone. "You sure know how to screw up a first impression."

Nicky ignored her and rubbed at his forehead where a headache was forming. Nile was both wrong and right. Wrong, because this morning wasn't the first time Nicky had met Yusuf—or Joe as he was known at the time. And right, because Nicky's actual first impression wasn't much better.

~*~ 

Nicky's father had moved them to the US when Nicky was fourteen, during the summer before he started high school as a freshman. By now, Nicky was used to starting over in a new school every few years, though a new country and language would be an added challenge. He spent what was left of his summer practicing his English and his right hook, expecting every bully to zero in on the new foreign kid.

School wasn't as bad as Nicky had expected. He'd only needed to punch one bully, who thankfully refused to tell the school that Nicky had been the cause for his broken nose. All the kids at school knew, however, and it earned Nicky a few friends and enough of a reputation that nobody else messed with him. 

Nicky's mother, always concerned about Nicky fitting in, was the one who pushed him to try out for the soccer team. Nicky wasn't great compared to the kids back in Italy, but he was a decent player, which apparently counted enough to get him a spot on the varsity team. It was the first day of soccer practice that became one of the most formative moments of his young life. 

Nicky had always been fairly sure he was gay, but seeing senior forward Joe Al-Kaysani in a pair of soccer shorts firmly cemented his sexuality. Nicky couldn't seem to make himself stop staring and forgot that the ball tended to go where you were looking. Nicky watched in horror as the ball he meant to kick toward the goal went wide and hit Joe on the side of the head. Joe's friends immediately came to his defense.

"What the fuck, freshman?!"

"Watch what you're doing, dumbass!"

"Get off the fucking field if you can't find the goal!"

"Leave him alone, assholes!" Joe yelled through the fray. "I'm the dumbass that wasn't paying attention."

Everyone, Nicky included, looked at Joe in shock. Joe only continued to stare down his friends until they rolled their eyes at him and went back to their practice drills. 

"I am so sorry," Nicky apologized when Joe walked over to him. "Do you need coach? Or some ice?"

"No, I'm good. You've got a hell of a boot though, Nicky. Keep it up," Joe advised with a smile, gave Nicky a wink, and then walked back to his friends. 

Nicky was so flustered by the wink that it took him a good ten minutes to realize that Joe knew his name. He had no idea why someone like Joe would know who Nicky was.

Joe was one of the popular kids, just below the tier of really popular kids that became assholes as a result of their popularity. He was an officer on the Student Council, teachers spoke highly of him, and he'd stolen everyone's hearts during the LGBTQ assembly earlier that year. Most of what Nicky remembered was Joe's soft smile as he'd spoken about how accepting his family had been when he came out to them.

Joe had no reason to give Nicky any attention and yet he continued to do exactly that. Joe said 'hi' to Nicky in the hallways, made a point of talking to him before practices, and once convinced the coach into subbing Nicky into his position when he'd been injured during a game. 

Nicky both dreaded and yearned for these moments of attention. He was sure that his crush on Joe was visible from space and it mortified Nicky that he could never string enough brain cells together to have an actual conversation with Joe. Nicky would either duck his head to hide his blush or blink in surprise or give him a smile that was more of a grimace. None of Nicky's reactions ever seemed to daunt Joe, who only smiled wider. 

Joe persisted, taking the time to speak with Nicky before school, at breaks, or sometimes at lunch. Their talks were mostly Joe telling Nicky about everything he was doing both in and out of school while Nicky nodded along mutely. Joe would ask Nicky questions about himself and never seemed to mind when Nicky could only stutter out short, mostly one word answers. 

Nicky had never been the focus of anyone's attention before and, at first, he assumed Joe was just that nice to everyone. Then he started to notice the envious looks a few kids would shoot him whenever Joe stopped at his locker or walked him between classes. Nicky then noticed that Joe was usually with a large group of friends if he wasn't with Nicky, as if Nicky were the only person he wanted to be alone with. Joe was loud and boisterous amongst his friends, but was quiet and attentive with Nicky. 

Spending time with Joe was pleasant in a way that was confusing to Nicky. Joe's steady presence was calm and soothing, but he also made Nicky's heart race wildly in his chest. Joe made Nicky feel special and Nicky was quickly becoming addicted to the feeling.

The rest of the year sped by. 

During the last week of school, Sam, a sophomore from the soccer team, found Nicky after school.

"Yo, Nicky!" he called out and held a card out to Nicky. "We're having a graduation party for Joe and Jake. Joe wanted to invite the whole team since we got screwed out of a party."

Nicky nodded in agreement—the end of season party had been cancelled because the stomach flu had taken down more than half the team. He took the card from Sam and looked at it to find a cute drawing of Joe and Jake standing in a pool, wearing swim trunks and graduation caps. Jake was Sam's older brother and one of Joe's best friends. 

"Think you can make it?" Sam asked. 

Nicky couldn't think of a reason to turn down the invitation. "Yeah, sure. I can make it," he answered. 

"Cool! See ya Saturday."

Nicky spent most of the time at the party hanging out with Sam. Joe had grinned and waved at Nicky when he'd first arrived, but got pulled into a conversation on his way to walking over. Everyone there wanted to spend time with Joe, so he didn't get another chance to talk to Nicky until the end of the party.

"Hey! There you are!" Joe called out as Nicky came out of the bathroom. He looked a little out of breath.

"Oh, um. Hey. Hi. Hi, Joe," Nicky stammered out, happy that the only open bathroom had been in the back of the house. There was nobody else around to witness his mortification. Joe, as usual, only smiled at Nicky as if he were actually happy to see him. 

"I've been looking for you," Joe told him.

"Really?! Why?" Nicky winced. He should stop trying to talk. Joe thankfully ignored him.

"My uncle's waiting to drive me home, so I gotta go in a sec, but I wanted to say thanks for coming."

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Um… my pleasure?"

Joe's smile widened further.

"Maybe we'll see each other around?" Joe asked.

"Around?"

"That is if you want to," Joe added quickly. "I like spending time with you."

"Oh." Nicky bobbed his head up and down awkwardly. "Yeah. Around. Sounds cool."

Joe started to walk away and then stopped. Nicky watched Joe take a deep breath, square his shoulders, and then swiftly turn back to face Nicky. He darted in, placed a feather-light kiss to the corner of Nicky's mouth, and then pulled away. Nicky could only stare at Joe with his eyes wide in shock, the corner of his mouth tingling from that small contact. Joe looked for a moment like he was going to swoop in again, but then he pursed his lips and took a full step backward away from Nicky.

"See you soon, Nicky," Joe promised. He gave Nicky a warm smile before turning and jogging away.

Nicky slumped against the wall, unsure if what had just happened was a dream. He touched the corner of his mouth and let himself believe the kiss was real. Nicky let himself believe that it was actually possible for Joe—beautiful, amazing Joe—to like him back as more than a friend. 

For weeks after the party, Nicky let himself dream of possibilities. He imagined Joe showing up on his front door unannounced, using the cover of being a friend from soccer to take him on a date to the movies. He dreamt of Joe making special trips from college to see one of Nicky's soccer games or just because he missed him. Nicky imagined Joe _really_ kissing him for the first time and longed for it to happen. 

Then one day, Nicky ran into Sam and Jake at the store. Nicky was brave enough to ask about Joe and they told him that Joe had gone back to Europe. Joe was gone, despite his promise, and Nicky was angry at himself for believing in fairy tales. In his mind, the best case scenario was that Joe had learned about Nicky's crush and purposely played with Nicky's heart. The worst case, and what Nicky eventually decided was the truth, was that kiss was nothing but a momentary whim on Joe's part. None of the time they'd spent together meant anything at all to Joe because Nicky wasn't important enough to matter.

~*~ 

By the time Andy asked them to gather in the break room to meet their new teacher, Nicky had worked himself into a temper with the embarrassing memories. To add insult to injury, it seemed from the other staff's conversations that Joe had managed to live a very full life in the sixteen years since Nicky had last seen him. Joe had gotten an art degree from a prestigious university in Amsterdam while being courted by several professional football teams, had immersed himself in his art after suffering a knee injury, and had his art shown in an Italian museum before he'd tried acting on an impulse and ended up off-Broadway. Nobody, Nicky included, could understand why he'd answered Andy's request to teach at Guardian.

"Okay everyone," Andy said at the front of the room. "I'd like you all to meet an old friend of mine, Yusuf Al-Kaysani. Yusuf has agreed to step in and teach our art and physical education programs for the middle school. We may extend that a little into elementary, but we'll wait on saying for sure until he's had some time to settle in."

"Hello all," Yusuf greeted with a nervous smile and a small wave. His English was still perfect, with just the smallest hint of a foreign accent that made it very appealing to the ear. "I am very happy to be joining you. I hope to not be too annoying with my questions since I am eager to learn from all of you seasoned educators."

There was a general murmur of approval after Joe's little speech and then Andy began walking him around to introduce everyone by name. She started with the Elementary teachers, so Nicky would be last since he was leaning against the sink on the far end of the room. 

Nicky waited restlessly as they moved onto the middle school staff. He wasn't sure if he should pretend not to remember Joe. It was doubtful that Joe would remember Nicky. High school had been a long time ago. 

"Booker teaches French and general sciences. This is Nile, she teaches Spanish and Computer Science. And this is—"

"Nicky, right? Long time." Joe was suddenly standing in front of Nicky with his hand held out and Nicky could do nothing but stare at it for a second. "Or is that an old nickname I shouldn't be using?" Joe asked with a charming smile. 

Joe still hadn't dropped his hand and Nicky heard Nile sputter as she choked on a sip of her coffee. Nicky quickly reached out and shook the offered hand. Joe's handshake was solid, his palms pleasantly callused.

"No, I mean, yes. I still go by Nicky. It's nice to, uh, see you again Jo— uh, Yusuf."

Joe gave him a disarming grin and let go of Nicky's hand. "It's still Joe. Easier around here," he explained and then bumped Andy's arm with his elbow. "Only this one insists on calling me Yusuf, like my _mother_."

Andy rolled her eyes at Joe's jibe. "I didn't realize you two knew each other." 

"Nicky and I were on our high school football team together my last year in the States," Joe told her. 

"Nicky played football?!" Booker piped up. "No fucking way!"

"Sébastien!" Andy scolded for the profanity while Nile slid over the swear jar for Booker to put in a dollar.

"He meant soccer," Nicky clarified.

"He was quite a good player," Joe added, which Nicky knew was a lie. Joe had been offered scholarships at multiple colleges and no way did Nicky measure up as 'good' compared to Joe. "Did you keep it up?"

"No," Nicky answered curtly. "Too busy with school."

Joe's smile dropped a few notches, but didn't falter completely against Nicky's unexplained animosity. He turned toward Andy, who was looking at Nicky with narrowed eyes. 

"May I see the art studio?" Joe asked. 

The school didn't have a studio, just another classroom with art supplies and large tables instead of the usual desks and books. Nicky had to actively prevent himself from rolling his eyes at Joe elevating the room's status to something it wasn't. 

"I can show you," Nile offered and jumped up from her seat. "I can show you the theater too. Andy said you were taking over the drama club from Booker?"

"Thank fuck for that," Booker said, already dropping another bill in the swear jar.

Joe laughed and held his elbow out for Nile to take, as if she were leading him into a ballroom instead of down cramped hallways. She beamed at him, already charmed, and they left the break room chatting like old friends.

~*~ 

Just like in high school, everyone loved Joe. He was charming and friendly and seemed to genuinely care about everyone around him. There was an excited hum among the students and even some of the most quiet ones seemed to come out of their shell. Nicky did his best not to notice any of it.

"What is your problem with Joe?" Nile demanded one day during their common break between classes. "And don't say it's the funding."

Nicky looked around, but it was only himself, Booker, and Nile in the room. "What makes you think I have a problem?"

"Because you scowl whenever he's in the room or anyone mentions him."

"That's just how I normally look."

"I know your resting bitch face and that is not it. What's your problem? We all like Joe, even Booker, and he hates everyone."

"She's right," Booker agreed. 

"Did he run over your dog in high school or something?"

"No! It's uh…" Nicky's brain scrambled for something to say since he didn't actually have a good reason to dislike Joe. "Don't you think he's laying it on a bit thick?"

"You think he's faking being a nice guy to a bunch of school kids and teachers?" 

"And the parents. He _is_ an actor." 

Nile reached over and punched Nicky in the shoulder. "Now you're just being an ass." 

"Swear jar!" Booker called out.

"Ass is a valid term for a stubborn donkey, which is what Nicky is being," Nile said to Booker and then turned back to Nicky. "Joe is a genuinely nice guy. He wouldn't be such good friends with Andy if he wasn't." 

"How did they meet anyway?" 

"Back when Andy was bouncing around colleges in Europe. She was ogling him while he worked out in the school gym until he told her he was gay." 

"Andy's gay," Booker pointed out for no real reason.

"Andy's pan," Nile corrected. "Nicky's gay."

"Doesn't Nicky actually need to have a sex life to still consider himself anything?" Booker asked with a shit-eating grin.

"Fuck you, Booker," Nicky responded with no real anger since Booker wasn't far off from the truth. Then he sighed, pulled out his wallet, and put a dollar in the jar. 

"Oh!" Nile exclaimed. "There you go Nicky. Invite Joe to Quynh's on Friday." 

"We're all going to the bar on Friday." 

Nile looked like she was very close to reaching over to hit Nicky again. "Riiiight, but Joe is _new_ to the school. Extending an invite would be including him in the group. This is how we make friends."

"Andy made you counselor again, didn't she?" Nicky asked, but Nile only rolled her eyes at Nicky's deflection and he sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'll tell him about Friday."

"Nicely."

"Nicely," Nicky echoed after Nile and then glanced up at the clock. He had just enough time to grab another cup of coffee before his next class. Talking to Joe would have to wait.

~*~ 

Never one to procrastinate for long, Nicky went over to the art classroom at the end of school the next day.

"That is perfect, Cindy!" Joe praised as Nicky approached the open door. "Keep practicing and it will become second nature. Now hurry along. Don't keep your mom waiting."

Nicky moved aside to avoid being run down by the seventh grader who was waving over her shoulder and not looking where she was going.

"Thanks Mr. A!" she called out as she ran down the hall.

Joe was wearing a bright grin that didn't dim when he caught sight of Nicky. 

"Hello Nicky," Joe greeted. 

Nicky stepped into the room and froze. It looked totally different from what he remembered. The walls were a pale ivory that collected light from the two sets of windows, different from the grey used in the other classrooms. There were easels and light boxes arranged throughout the room and what looked like stacks of clay and a spinning wheel in one corner. Hung on the walls were examples of different forms of art—a modern painting, a charcoal sketch, an enlarged photograph, and a print of a marble statue. The room now looked like the art studio Joe had named.

"Did you paint in here?" Nicky asked, unable to keep the accusation out of his voice. 

"The room needed brightening, so Andy gave me the extra paint she had from renovating her house." Joe explained. "We were also lucky that the community college was upgrading their equipment and were willing to donate what they didn't need to the school."

"Oh."

Nicky continued to look around the room, trying to calm the righteous anger that now had no place existing. 

"Was there something you needed?"

Nicky looked over at Joe's question and remembered why he had been sent. Joe was looking at him patiently with no outward sign he'd been offended by Nicky's earlier hostility. 

"Nile wanted me to let you know about Swear Bar," Nicky answered. 

"Swear Bar?"

"About once a month, we take the money from the swear jar and have drinks together at Quynh's. It's typically the middle school teachers and sometimes Andy."

"Even Booker couldn't swear enough to have already filled the jar," Joe pointed out. 

"We all chip in a ten at the beginning of the night. Anything not used goes back in the jar. Quynh gives us a discount."

"Ah."

"Friday at six." Nicky said and winced internally when he realized he didn't sound overly welcoming. "I, uh… It'd be nice if you could make it."

"I'll do my best."

"Great. See you later, I guess." Nicky fought back another wince and left quickly, hating how he once again felt like an awkward fourteen year old. 

When Friday rolled around, Nile stared daggers at Nicky when Joe didn't show at the bar. 

"I was nice!" Nicky tried to defend himself, though he was as skeptical as the look Nile threw at him.

Nicky was glad that Andy wasn't at the bar tonight. Joe was her friend and Nicky's dislike of him was difficult to explain. Thankfully, Nicky was saved from further need to defend himself when Quynh came over and placed a ten dollar bill on the table. 

"Joe sends his apologies for not joining you," Quynh relayed. "Tonight was the only time his friend had to help him move his things up from the city."

"Oh, that's right," Booker said. "He mentioned most of his things were still in the city because he drove up on his motorcycle. I probably should have offered to help."

"Andy and I did offer. Joe said he didn't have much to bring up."

They moved onto other topics after Quynh walked away, but the whole exchange bothered Nicky. Nile had joked about it earlier in the week and she was right. It was unusual for Booker to be friendly and Nicky not. Nicky had been the one to befriend Nile when she joined their team a few years back, fresh out of the Army and still adjusting to civilian life. He was a generally friendly person, except when it came to Joe. 

Nicky tried to believe that his continued unfriendliness toward Joe was due to his concerns about the history funding. Joe may not be the correct outlet for Nicky's concerns, but funding at least seemed like a valid reason as opposed to an incident that occured when they were teenagers. An incident that Joe likely didn't remember and Nicky should have forgotten long ago. To hold something so inconsequential against Joe was petty and childish and not something Nicky was prone to do. 

As he left the bar early that night, Nicky received a text from Andy telling him that her meeting with Finance had gone well and she had secured his funding for the new history curriculum. He looked at his phone with a sigh, knowing he should be happier than he felt.

~*~ 

A few weeks after Nicky had begun implementing the virtual component to his history curriculum, one of his sixth grade students raised her hand before he'd gotten a chance to start class.

"Yes, Cassie?" Nicky asked when she began to wave her arm to get his attention.

"Mr. D, could we come up and share our art projects?"

It was a lighter day for them and Nicky was genuinely curious about her motivation, so he nodded. "We can give you a few minutes."

"Awesome!" Cassie jumped up and motioned for three other students nearby to follow her. Then she turned toward the back corner of the room. "Come on, Brian. Yours is the best one!"

Nicky was surprised when the tall boy stood up and joined the others in the front of the class. He hadn't known Brian was taking art. 

"So," Cassie announced to the rest of the class. "Mr. A had us do our version of cave paintings for our project. He let us use paper instead of hide, but we could only use tools and supplies that early hominids could have had like minerals, plants, and stuff. He also said they had to be something worth, uh, commemorating." 

She looked at Nicky, who nodded in approval.

"I crushed some red rocks I found in my backyard into water and used my fingers to paint when my family moved to New York."

Nicky had to smile because Cassie's 'cave painting' included images of an airplane and sky scrapers. The next student, fingertips still tinged red, held up a picture of a cruise ship. 

"Mr. A helped me make charcoal for my drawing of when my soccer team won State Cup," said the third student and Nicky was impressed by her talented depiction of the scene.

Then it was Brian's turn. "I, um, used a rock to carve my family into a bigger rock." There were several oohs and aahs when he held up his project. The carving was nicely detailed for being crudely made.

"Thank you for sharing," Nicky said and motioned for them to return to their seats. "Once you've shown your parents, perhaps you can bring them back and we can display them in here."

As Nicky started the history lesson, his gaze wandered out the window toward the sports field. He could see Joe doing jumping jacks alongside the students, his grin wide enough to be seen from inside. Nicky had to admit that it was his turn to make peace.

~*~ 

"Hi," Nicky said as he entered the studio later that day. He knew that students tended to linger in the studio at the end of the day, so he'd waited until later in the afternoon and was relieved to see that Joe was alone.

"Nicky! Hello!" 

Joe looked pleasantly surprised to see him and Nicky's heart did a treacherous leap in his chest. He looked around the room to hide his reaction and his eyes landed on the painting. It looked vaguely familiar and Nicky wondered if it was one of Joe's pieces. The painting was of a small family seated together on the grass and what struck Nicky was how beautifully the painter had captured the looks of love on the parents' faces as they gazed down at the child. It wasn't until Nicky started to turn away that the familiarity solidified.

"[Doni Tondo](https://www.uffizi.it/en/artworks/holy-family-known-as-the-doni-tondo)?" he asked and Joe inclined his head in confirmation.

"A modern interpretation."

"Yours?" 

"Yes. Not quite good enough to go on display outside of this room."

Nicky made a small noise of displeasure on his behalf. "It's a beautiful painting."

"But not what they were looking for," Joe shrugged. 

Nicky wondered if it had to do with Joe choosing to make the family mixed race. It was hard to pinpoint exactly which races with the lightning used in the painting, but they were clearly not all the same race based on differences in the color of their skin and the texture of their hair. 

Nicky took his attention off the painting and stepped closer to where Joe was leaning against one of the long tables. 

"The kids showed off their cave paintings today."

"I know," Joe said with a nod. "They couldn't wait to show them to you."

"Thank you for doing that. It helps when they can make that connection." 

"The kids were already excited about their virtual visit to the caves. I just fed the embers of their interest."

"It was still very thoughtful of you."

"You're welcome," Joe finally conceded and then grimaced. "I hoped you'd forgive my allowing them to use more modern inspirations." 

Nicky smirked. "I don't know. It's possible that early man had premonitions about jumbo jets and Disney cruise ships."

"You didn't see the multiple renditions of iPads and X-boxes," Joe grinned and then his smile softened. "I thought Brian's choice was quite poignant."

"He said it was his family?"

"On the day they brought his little brother home. 'Best day ever,' according to Brian."

"Oh!" The family had adopted an infant who was suffering from drug withdrawal the year before and Brian's parents had sent a letter to the school asking to be informed if the staff saw any negative impacts on their son. It was nice to know that Brian saw only the positive side of his new brother. "That is very sweet."

"I believe Cassie has quite the crush on him now."

Nicky smiled at the prospect and then remembered what he'd brought. "Here," he said, holding the stack of papers out like an olive branch. "I thought you'd maybe like copies of my syllabus for the year. In case there are other topics we could collaborate on."

Joe took the papers from Nicky as if they were precious relics. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Nicky responded and started to leave, but stopped at the door. "You have the early lunch period, don't you?"

"Yes, I do."

"Nile and I usually eat together in the breakroom," Nicky said and watched Joe's eyes flick away as if he'd been caught out. Joe, he realized, was exactly the type of person to avoid a public space if he viewed it as someone else's sanctuary. "We… _I_ would like it if you joined us."

A look of surprise flitted across Joe's features before he smiled back shyly. Nicky couldn't help finding it hopelessly endearing. 

"Perhaps I will," Joe said and Nicky retreated before he did something embarrassing like try to extract a stronger promise from Joe.


	2. Affections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take heed: Very small mention of non-con and mild violence in this chapter.

Things went well for the weeks that followed. Nicky's additions to the curriculum were being well received and he'd worked with Joe on two additional, collaborative art projects. Joe began eating lunch in the breakroom and had attended the last Swear Bar gathering. Joe's laughter and smiles became a regular part of Nicky's day. When Nicky would sometimes take a quick walk during his afternoon break, Joe always made a point of waving to him from the sports field. 

They agreed to Nile's idea for a group costume on Halloween and it made sense for Joe to make Nicky's as well as his. All the kids laughed when they finally saw the four of them together at the end of the day parade. Joe and Nicky were dressed as graham crackers, Nile a marshmallow, and Booker a piece of chocolate. Then Andy stepped out dressed like fire and the kids laughed even harder.

As the days went by, Nicky was grateful that none of his awkwardness from high school had reemerged. Joe's smile, when directed fully at Nicky, still made his heart beat faster, but now Nicky was able to return it without getting flustered. They were becoming friends in addition to working well as colleagues and Nicky wasn't looking for anything more. 

Then Nicky walked into an unexpected conversation that threw him off kilter. 

Joe and Nile were already in the breakroom when Nicky had arrived for lunch. He was surprised to see that Joe looked deeply embarrassed at whatever conversation they were having.

"Fine, fine," Nile was saying. "If you don't want to show off extra skin, you should wear that tight blue shirt. You know the one I'm talking about. It totally highlights your muscles."

"Giving fashion advice?" Nicky asked as Joe shook his head and dropped his face into his hands.

"Joe has a hot date tonight!" Nile answered with enthusiasm. "I'm telling him he needs to showcase that sculpted body of his."

Joe lifted his head and his eyes went to Nicky before he looked back at Nile. "It's a blind date. I don't know much about this man to say he's hot or not. It was Andy's idea. Can you please stop talking about me like I'm meat on display?"

"Come on Joe, I've run into you at the gym. You're a snack! You should show it off." Joe groaned and dropped his head onto the table. Nile relented with a roll of her eyes. "Fine, fine. Tell me about how much of a mess the kids made with the clay."

Nicky slowly released the vice grip he had on his coffee mug as Joe immediately perked up. He watched as Joe relayed the story from his morning class and Nicky tried to focus on how Joe's eyes shone with delight as he spoke. 

Nicky shouldn't be surprised that Joe was dating. As Nile pointed out, Joe was very good looking. He was also charismatic and showed genuine interest in whomever he was speaking to. There was no reason for Joe to spend his nights quietly at home like Nicky preferred to do. 

That evening, Nicky had trouble relaxing enough to get lost in reading his new book. After a frustrating hour, he decided it was a good night to get some comfort food. Nicky placed his order with Mama Zita's—a restaurant with an unfortunate name, but the best calzones in town—and arrived a little early to pick up his food. Nicky was waiting outside to enjoy the unseasonably warm air when the last person he wished to see sneered in his ear.

"Well if it isn't the little bookworm."

Nicky gritted his teeth, but managed to greet the other man calmly. "Hello, Egan."

Nicky had suffered a lack of judgement the previous year when he'd gone on several dates with Egan Keane. He no longer recalled exactly how they'd been put in contact, possibly a small connection to Nile's friends in the Reserves. What had put an end to their dates was the night Nicky agreed to join Keane in his apartment for a drink. They'd shared a few goodnight kisses up until that point and Nicky wasn't totally opposed to the idea of having sex, Keane was a fairly attractive man. 

What Nicky hadn't expected was to be shoved violently against a wall as soon as they'd stepped inside the apartment. Keane's kiss was bruising and rough, nothing like the kisses they'd previously shared and definitely not what Nicky enjoyed. Nicky had planted a hand in the center of Keane's chest and pushed him away.

"I don't enjoy rough sex," Nicky told him, "so if that's what you're into, I should probably leave."

Keane was immediately apologetic and convinced Nicky it had been a mistake. He agreed to stay and have a drink, making a point to watch Keane closely as he poured Nicky wine from a newly opened bottle. When he was finished with the glass of wine, Nicky let Keane kiss him again and it seemed more like before. 

Then with no warning, Keane grabbed Nicky hard by the back of the head, leaned back on the sofa, and shoved Nicky's face into his crotch. Nicky twisted out of his hold and stood.

"You don't get a third strike," Nicky spat and turned to leave.

Keane jumped off the sofa and moved to block Nicky's way. Nicky stepped up to him without hesitation, kneed him in the groin, and then elbowed him in the face when he doubled over. Nicky waited until Keane looked up at him from where he was now writhing on the floor.

"Do not _ever_ try and contact me again," Nicky growled and left.

Nicky hadn't seen Keane again until tonight. 

Keane stepped into Nicky's personal space, aggression clear in the taught line of his body. 

"Surprised not to see your face stuck in a book," Keane continued. "I'm betting that's the only thing that gets you off."

Nicky's eyes darted toward the restaurant. It was a popular place and the large windows in front gave people inside a clear view of the sidewalk. Nicky didn't want to cause a scene by punching Keane in the face. 

"You wouldn't know what to do with a real man," Keane accused. 

Nicky tried to step away, but Keane grabbed his arm hard enough so that Nicky let out an involuntary gasp of pain.

"You probably stick your cock between the pages and fuck them like—"

There were suddenly long, slim fingers wrapped around Keane's throat, cutting off his harsh words. Nicky had time to see the pure fury on Joe's face before he pulled Keane away from Nicky and moved between them. 

"You hurt Nicky," Joe growled in Keane's face, the menace and anger in his voice surprising Nicky with its intensity. "You shouldn't have done that."

Joe still had one hand wrapped tight around Keane's throat while Keane scratched at his arm and hand in an attempt to loosen Joe's hold. Nicky saw Joe's other hand clench into a fist and he reached out to place his own hand on top.

"Joe, no," Nicky said quickly. "He's not worth it. Let him go."

Joe shoved Keane away suddenly, causing the other man to stumble back in surprise. He lost his footing on the uneven sidewalk and landed in a graceless sprawl. Keane scrambled back up and started to step toward them when Nicky shot him a glare. 

"Don't test us," he warned. "It won't take both of us to put you back on your ass."

Keane looked angrily between Nicky and Joe, but clearly decided not to push his luck. "I should have known this date was a bad idea. You asshole teachers probably only want to fuck your—"

Joe and Nicky each took a threatening step forward and Keane wisely ran away without finishing his insult. As soon as he was out of sight, Joe turned and cradled Nicky's arm gently. 

"Are you okay? How badly did he hurt you?"

Nicky caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw that the hostess and a few patrons were watching them. He also realized that Joe may have heard everything Keane had said to him. Mortified, Nicky pulled his arm away.

"You didn't need to do that," Nicky hissed. "I can take care of myself. I'm not a mouse."

Joe took two quick steps back and dropped his gaze. 

"Of course. I'm sorry. I overstepped." Joe kept his eyes averted as he added, "I'm sorry for ruining your evening." 

Then he turned and walked away. A minute later, Nicky heard the roar of a motorcycle starting and then driving away. Nicky sighed, gathered his composure, and turned toward the hostess. Dizzy was a friend of Nile's, so Nicky had no hope of keeping what just happened quiet. 

"Is my order ready?" Nicky asked calmly.

"Yeah," she answered. Dizzy began to hand Nicky his bag, but then stopped with it just out of reach. "You know us servers get a lot of crap from people. We can handle ourselves, but you know what we usually do if another customer cares enough to step in and help?"

Nicky only looked at Dizzy in confusion.

"We say thank you," she said and handed over his food.

~*~ 

Nicky didn't sleep much over the weekend, unable to get Joe's look of defeat off his mind. Nicky knew he'd reacted badly out of embarrassment, but had no way of contacting Joe outside of school. His frustration grew on Monday morning when he realized that Joe and Nile were on a field trip to a museum with a group of kids.

It did give Nicky an opportunity to talk to Andy.

"You set Joe up with Keane?!" Nicky asked when Andy came into the empty breakroom at lunch. "What could you possibly have been thinking?"

Andy shrugged. "Yusuf seemed lonely. You kept telling us Keane wasn't that bad and it's not like this town is overflowing with single, gay men."

"Keane is a two-faced asshole and Joe doesn't deserve that."

" _Oh_. So he's 'not too bad' for you, but he's not good enough for Yusuf? Maybe Quynh was right about my looking a little closer."

"What? Me? No. I'm not attracted to Joe," Nicky tried to scoff, but the words were so ridiculously untrue that Nicky physically choked on them. When he finished coughing, all Andy replied with was a raised eyebrow. 

"Okay, yes, Joe is attractive. You'd have to be dead not to find him attractive, but Joe and I are friends," Nicky said, hoping it was still true after what happened Friday night. "Friends don't let friends date assholes."

"Sure, Nicky," Andy agreed with disbelief clear in her tone. "Want me to vett all of his possible dates by you first?"

Nicky made a face before he could stop himself and Andy laughed. Luckily for Nicky, she didn't press the issue further.

The next day, it was Joe who found Nicky early in the morning. Joe started to speak, but was stopped by Nicky rushing forward to get a closer look at the red lines he could see on Joe's hand from across the room. Joe started to hide the hand behind his back, only to be stopped when Nicky scowled at the motion. With a sigh, Joe held out his hand and pulled back the sleeve of his shirt to expose the long scratches from Keane's nails. 

"I'm sorry you had to get involved in that," Nicky said, his fingers itching to reach out and soothe at the marks.

"It's me that should apologize. I lost my temper when I saw him hurt you. I shouldn't have overstepped and made you feel like you needed my rescue."

"No. I'm thankful you did. I shouldn't have snapped at you." Nicky gave into temptation and cradled Joe's outstretched hand in both of his. "I just… I was embarrassed."

Joe frowned in confusion. "What did you have to be embarrassed about?"

"You must have heard what he said."

"I don't give a crap what that asshole said. His words aren't worth the air that was used to say them, let alone your concern."

"Swear jar," Nicky joked softly and then sobered. "I _am_ sorry Andy thought it was okay to set you up with him. I never told them how big of a jerk Keane was when we stopped dating."

"Why not?"

"I dealt with him and didn't think it was worth spending any more energy on."

Joe looked skeptical, but didn't ask Nicky to elaborate. His hand flexed in Nicky's grip. "I still wish you'd let me punch him."

"If it helps, I'm pretty sure I broke his nose last time."

Joe laughed and the last of Nicky's tension from Friday melted away. He gave Joe's hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. 

"So, still friends?" Nicky asked.

"Yes, of course. Friends."

~*~ 

The next few months went by quickly as they approached the busy holiday season.

Andy and Quynh hosted dinner at their house on Thanksgiving and they all stayed to watch the NFL game after, despite Booker and Joe's complaints that the European version of football was more entertaining. Nicky, full with turkey and warm from being seated next to Joe, ended up falling asleep. He woke to find himself snuggled against Joe's chest with one of his arms wrapped around Joe's waist, while Joe kept him close with an arm around Nicky's shoulders. Nicky thought about pulling away or being embarrassed, but he was sleepy, comfortable, and Joe didn't seem to mind judging by how he tightened his hold when Nicky stirred. Unfortunately for Nicky, he had made Nile a promise and had to allow himself to be dragged out of Joe's arms to go shopping. 

The weeks leading up to winter break were always a blur and they were all eager for some time off. The last staff meeting before the break served as the holiday party, with everyone sharing food and taking part in a white elephant gift exchange. At the end of exchange, Joe and Nicky ended up with two of the nicer gifts and then swapped without a word spoken between them.

"You two cheated," Nile accused. "I'm just not sure how."

"We didn't cheat," Nicky replied. It was pure luck that Nicky was able to make the last steal for the dark chocolates he knew Joe preferred and Joe must have noticed Nicky's interest in the bottle of wine when it was his turn to choose.

"I'm sure Andy or Booker would be willing to trade, if you—" Joe started to say.

"No!" Nile exclaimed, holding the beautiful grey scarf tightly to her chest when the other two looked up with interest. The scarf matched the school colors and Andy had already let it slip that it was Joe's handiwork. It was one of early gifts opened and Nicky had been admittedly disappointed when Nile had quickly won the battle for it. 

"Thank you for the wine," Nicky said to Joe as the other two tried to convince Nile to give up her prize. "Though I am a bit envious of Nile for winning the best gift tonight."

Joe ducked his head bashfully at Nicky's compliment. "Thank you. It's one of the few useful skills I've picked up over the years. A nice way to keep my hands busy."

They chuckled as Nile swatted playfully at Andy when she made grabby hands at the scarf. 

"And thank you for the chocolates," Joe added, "though I'll need to put in extra time in the gym to work them off."

"It's not the holidays if you don't overeat," Nicky commented and glanced down at this watch. "I should probably go. I still have some gifts to wrap and pack before my early flight tomorrow." 

"Headed to your family?"

"Yeah, they're still in San Diego."

"Ah!" Joe nodded. "It will be nice for you to get away from the snow."

"Yes, it will be a nice break even if the travel there can be a pain."

"I hope you have an uneventful flight and a Happy Christmas." Joe gave Nicky a wide smile and reached out to give Nicky's shoulder a squeeze. "See you in a few weeks."

"Thanks. Yeah. Merry Christmas to you too."

The flight back to California wasn't horrible and Nicky genuinely enjoyed spending time with his family. It was one of the nicer visits Nicky had had in a while, able to reminisce about his time in San Diego without any unpleasant memories. Nicky even attended a pancake breakfast fundraiser at the high school without complaint and was glad for the distraction of his sister's recent engagement that kept his family from noticing his change of heart. 

Nicky came back to town early in the hopes of avoiding most of the crowds headed to the celebrations in Times Square. Quynh always held a semi-private New Years Eve party at the bar and, for once, Nicky looked forward to attending. It was Andy, part way through the night, who noticed Nicky's eyes continuously looking toward the door and let him know that Joe was home with a bad bout of the flu. He didn't bother pretending he wasn't interested in the information.

Nicky felt a bit guilty for thinking that he preferred Joe having the flu versus his being on a date and his guilt deepened when Joe was still nursing a lingering cough as school resumed. He brought Joe a cup of tea to assuage his guilt and received a grateful smile in return while they waited for Andy to start their staff meeting. 

"I got word from Copley that Merrick is making noise about cutting off the middle school again," Andy told them. 

Guardian was part of Bythewood Education and Stephen Merrick, the head of development, was more interested in opening new schools instead of supporting the ones they already had. Guardian was the oldest school run by Bythewood and Merrick was constantly lobbying the Finance department to cut off their middle school program. It was, in his eyes, the first step to closing the entire school. Merrick continued to ignore that Copley, the Finance lead, was a Guardian alumnus and supported Andy more than he supported Merrick.

"Again?" Nile asked with a groan.

"What's Merrick?" Joe asked with a scratchy voice while he tried to suppress another cough. 

Nicky handed Joe a lozenge he happened to have in his pocket as Andy outlined the situation. 

When she was done, Joe looked around at the others' resigned expressions. "This happens often?"

"Every few years or so," Booker answered. "Merrick's a dick."

Everyone around the table nodded in agreement and nobody bothered to slide the swear jar over. 

"We usually have to organize a large event to remind Bythewood that the middle school still gets a lot of support and interest. It also helps if the event can double as a fundraiser," Nicky explained. 

"We can expand the carnival again," Nile suggested and Andy shook her head.

"Can't wait until spring. Copley said Merrick is trying to fast track it with the board."

With snow still on the ground outside, it meant that the event would need to take place indoors. They all thought in silence for a minute.

"We could stage a play," Joe proposed. "The drama club has been asking for an opportunity and we can do a big enough production to involve most of school."

"Oh! I can give the kids a project to create a computer program that controls the lights or music," Nile chimed in.

"Building sets would be a good science lesson on support structures," Booker added.

"There are enough parent alumni that we could get help with costumes," Nicky mused. "And we could sell tickets as the fundraiser."

"A play it is," Andy said with a nod. "Which one?"

"Shakespeare to fuck with that British idiot," Booker suggested, automatically pulling a dollar out of his pocket.

"Romeo and Juliet or King Lear?" Nile asked. 

"Midsummer Night's Dream," Joe and Nicky said in unison. 

"Done," Andy decided and pointed at Joe and Nicky. "You two are in charge."

The play turned out to be a resounding success, thanks in no small part to how Joe and Nicky worked seamlessly together. They agreed without debate to adapt the dialogue into something more easily digestible by the middle schoolers and spent long hours collaborating on the changes before the first rehearsal. Joe would start a thought and Nicky would finish it or Nicky would be stuck and Joe would offer the perfect solution. Nicky had never enjoyed working as much as he did with Joe.

They continued to bolster their partnership through the weeks of rehearsal and other preparations. Nicky thoroughly appreciated watching Joe interact with the kids and their combined enthusiasm for the play spread to everyone else. They were able to find a role for all the kids interested in being onstage, even if it meant taking some liberties with the adaptation. Nile and Andy did an amazing job garnering support from the alumni and parents, while Booker managed the crew of kids working behind the scenes. 

By the time the school was ready to perform, they had sold enough tickets to fill the small theater for three nights. Joe and Nicky watched proudly as the kids shone onstage, surpassing all of their expectations. Each performance ended with Andy calling forward all the kids involved, from the set builders to the actors, so that they could all take a bow and accept the applause of the audience. 

The coup de grâce was Copley, Merrick and Gina Price, the head of the Bythewood board, attending the final night's performance. Merrick looked apoplectic when Gina asked to make a small speech thanking Andy and the rest of the staff for all the wonderful work they continued to do at Guardian. Gina promised her unwavering support in the future and Andy shot Merrick a look of triumph while he seethed silently in his seat.

As Nicky received a congratulatory hug from Joe, he didn't think he could get any happier.


	3. Anticipation

"Nicky! Nicolò. Nicolò, destati. Destati."

The quiet panic in Joe's voice pulled Nicky out of the darkness and he struggled into wakefulness. 

"Sono qui. Sono qui," Nicky groaned. "Ovunque qui sia."

"Siamo a scuola1," Joe responded. "You slipped and hit your head. Be careful. Don't move just yet."

Joe pressed lightly on Nicky's shoulder to keep him in place. Nicky realized he was laying next to the walkway that looped around the school and tried to remember what had happened. He had a fuzzy memory of deciding it was a nice day to enjoy a quick walk, going outside, and seeing Joe teaching one of the girls how to hold a golf club.

"Did I step on a golf ball?"

"We're so sorry Mr. D," said a different voice and Nicky moved his gaze towards a distraught looking Cassie. "We should have picked up the balls when Mr. A told us to."

"It was an accident," Nicky told her and was glad to have Joe supporting him as he sat up. "I'm fine."

"The back of your head is bleeding," Joe said and then turned to his class. "Everyone please pick up your things and go to Ms. Freeman's classroom. Tell her that I'm taking Mr. Di Genova to the emergency room."

Nicky would have protested if he wasn't still feeling a little woozy. At least he knew that Nile, who had volunteered to cover while most of the administrative staff were at a seminar, wouldn't worry unnecessarily as long as Joe was taking care of Nicky.

"Do you have your car keys?" Joe asked as he helped Nicky stand and kept a strong arm around his waist for support. 

"Yeah." 

Nicky reached into his pocket and handed the keys to Joe as they walked toward the staff parking lot. 

He felt worse and worse as the hours progressed. Nicky leaned heavily against Joe's side as they waited for him to be seen at the hospital, Joe's arm a soothing weight around his shoulders. When Nicky's name was finally called, Joe stayed confidently at his side and Nicky was relieved that none of the staff questioned whether Joe belonged there. 

By the time the doctor was giving Joe discharge instructions for the concussion, Nicky's head was pounding and all he wanted was his bed. He easily ceded control to Joe, who drove them to Nicky's house and carefully led him inside. It was only when Joe guided him onto one of the chairs by his small table in the kitchen, and not to his bedroom, that Nicky pouted. 

"The hospital gave me extra-strength ibuprofen for you, but it should be taken with food," Joe explained. "I need you to be patient for a little longer."

Nicky watched with interest as Joe moved around the kitchen. He seemed comfortable with the layout despite never having been in Nicky's home before today, finding what he needed without much searching. Nicky decided that he liked how Joe looked in his space.

It didn't take Joe long to prepare what was readily available in Nicky's pantry and was soon placing a bowl of soup and some crackers in front of Nicky.

"Go slow," Joe advised. "Let me know if you start to feel any nausea."

Nicky gave a small nod and began to eat. He finished the soup under Joe's watchful gaze and felt exhausted when he was done. 

"I know you're tired," Joe said as he handed Nicky a pair of pills to take. "But you probably don't want blood and antiseptic staining your pillow."

Nicky's shoulders slumped in defeat because Joe was right. The cut on his head had luckily been small and the hospital had only needed to clean it up a bit, but Nicky could feel the unsavory tackiness on his hair.

"Your bedroom is upstairs?"

Nicky gave another small nod and let Joe help him upstairs. He was steady enough to use the shower on his own, but left the door slightly ajar as a precaution while Joe waited in the bedroom. Nicky's eyes were barely open as he settled into bed with a sigh and Joe tucked the blankets around him.

"Grazie mille, tesoro," Nicky murmured as he felt lips brush against his brow.

In the morning, Nicky woke to a headache and gentle fingers brushing hair off his forehead. He cracked his eyes open to see Joe's kind eyes.

"Mi fa male la testa2."

Joe smiled softly. "I have more of the pills from the hospital to help with your headache, but you'll need to eat a little something first."

Nicky sat up and couldn't stop himself from reaching out to touch Joe's riotous curls. Joe blinked at him in surprise and then grinned. 

"Bed head?" he asked.

Nicky snorted a laugh. "Nicely tousled."

Joe helped him stand and hovered by Nicky's side as they made their way downstairs. Joe once again took charge in the kitchen and made them a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast before handing Nicky more pills. Nicky took the pills and stayed seated at the table while he watched Joe clean up the kitchen. It didn't take long for Joe to tidy up, but Nicky was finding it difficult to keep his eyes open.

"The hospital said you'd be very tired the first few days while you healed," Joe told him when he saw Nicky trying to keep his head from drooping. "Did you want to go back up to your room?"

"No," Nicky answered, knowing instinctively that Joe wasn't planning to leave Nicky alone. "Will you sit with me?"

Joe gave him another warm smile. "As you wish."

Nicky shuffled out to the living room and noticed the blanket laying across it. "Did you sleep on the sofa? There's a guest room."

"The sofa was perfectly comfortable."

Nicky didn't have the energy to argue about something that had already occurred. Tired and seeking whatever comfort Joe was willing to offer, Nicky motioned for him to take a seat on one end of the sofa. Once Joe was seated, Nicky laid down, placed his head on Joe's thigh, and relaxed with a contented sigh. He fell asleep as Joe carded gentle fingers through his hair.

~*~ 

Andy eventually arrived with a late lunch that the three of them ate together before Joe left to go home. The sofa no longer felt as inviting to rest on, so Nicky spent the rest of the day asleep in his room until Andy woke him for dinner and more pain pills.

On Sunday, Nicky slept through breakfast and was woken by Andy and Quynh arriving for lunch. They stayed through the afternoon while Nicky mostly dozed, slumped on one end of the sofa. Before the two left, Andy showed him the containers of food they'd placed in the refrigerator and told him that one of their group of friends would be checking up on Nicky throughout the week. 

Nicky was feeling a little better by the time Nile showed up at his house on Monday, so they were able to have a conversation while they waited for the dinner she'd ordered to arrive. She assured him that Andy was able to get his regular substitute, who was already familiar with how Nicky organized his classes and whom he was confident could teach the content. It helped alleviate his concerns about his students missing lessons so close to the end of the year while Nicky was out for the week.

By Tuesday, Nicky was beginning to go a little stir crazy with nothing to do but stare at the walls. He happily opened his front door at the knock and was surprised to see Joe on the other side.

"Andy said you'd be expecting us?" Joe asked, noting his surprise.

"She did. Please come in." Nicky stepped aside so that Joe could enter. "I thought it would be Booker's turn."

"I volunteered because Booker had a parent meeting and I wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm doing better," Nicky said and followed Joe into the kitchen where he placed some bags on the counter. "Are those from Mama Zita's?"

Joe grinned and nodded. "Nile's friend said that the calzones were your usual order."

"They make the best calzones and are my go-to comfort food. Thank you for bringing dinner."

"My pleasure. Go sit and I'll bring plates."

Dinner was pleasant with Joe relaying stories from school. Joe had taken the opportunity to stress sports safety with his classes and explain the concussion protocols used by professional sports teams. He told Nicky how meticulous the kids now were about picking up equipment and that a few had taken it upon themselves to start a school safety patrol. 

"They are calling themselves Mr. D's Danger Derailers."

Nicky laughed. "They are not!"

"They are," Joe countered. "I think the final name was Andy's idea. I merely steered them away from words like 'army' or 'crusaders', but they were adamant about being named in your honor. The kids are all quite fond of you." 

Nicky blushed as a wave of affection swept over him. 

Unfortunately, not even Joe's company could keep Nicky's headache at bay and all it took was one small wince for Joe to notice. 

"Ibuprofen?" he asked and Nicky pointed to the bottle on the counter. Joe handed it over and then shooed Nicky toward the living room. "I'll clean up."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. Go lay down."

Nicky did as he was told and was surprised when Joe sat in the armchair after finishing with the dishes. 

"Don't feel like you have to stay," Nicky said. None of the others had hung out past dinner.

"Oh. Did you need me to go so you can get some rest?" 

Nicky made a face at the word 'rest'. It felt as if all he'd done for the past four days was sleep and stare at the walls. He bit back a groan and scrubbed a hand over his face in frustration.

"Is there something wrong?" Joe asked.

"I'm not tired enough to sleep. I can't read with the…" Nicky made a vague motion toward his head and then sighed. "I'm incredibly bored."

"Ah. Would you like me to turn on the tv?"

"No, thank you. It doesn't work well for me as background noise."

"It's either just noise or you still have to concentrate on translating," Joe said with an understanding nod.

Nicky blinked in surprise and then remembered that Joe wasn't a native English speaker either. "Yes, exactly."

"And anything Italian isn't worth watching if you can't see the actors' faces or gestures." Joe looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think some of my favorite film scenes have no dialogue at all."

Nicky nodded slowly in agreement. He still firmly believed that European actors were better at conveying unspoken emotions on screen. It was as if Joe were pulling thoughts right out of Nicky's head. 

Nicky narrowed his eyes playfully at Joe, who grinned and said, "No, I can't actually read your mind."

Nicky made an exaggerated face of shock and then they both began to laugh until Nicky broke off with a grimace. He closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead, more than ready to be done with this concussion. He felt a warm hand land on his ankle consolingly and when Nicky opened his eyes, Joe was gazing at the bookshelves which lined one of the walls. 

Joe hummed. "I could try reading to you?"

"You don't have to sta—" 

A squeeze to his ankle stopped Nicky's words.

"I want to be here," Joe said sincerely, his eyes now on Nicky. "I would like to stay and read to you unless _you_ preferred I leave you in peace?"

"No, uh… Thank you. Reading to me sounds great."

Joe smiled and squeezed Nicky's ankle again before he stood and walked toward the large collection of books. Nicky laid down fully and closed his eyes because it helped his headache, and not at all because he didn't want to be caught staring at Joe's ass.

"Any requests?" Joe asked.

"Probably nothing too complicated," Nicky answered as he made himself more comfortable on the sofa. He wasn't sure if someone reading to him would be better than the television, but Nicky was feeling crummy enough that he was willing to let himself have the pleasure of listening to Joe's voice. 

Nicky could hear the sounds from Joe moving around his house. He heard Joe's light footsteps cross the carpet and then step onto the tile of the kitchen, the sound of running water, and then more footsteps as Joe came back to resettle in the armchair. There was a clink as Joe placed his glass on the table and then the rustle of pages. 

"Capitolo primo. Una festa inattesa," Joe read in near-perfect Italian and Nicky's eyes flew open. Joe gave him a smile and winked before turning back to the book in his hands.

"In un buco nella terra viveva uno hobbit. Non era un buco brutto, sudicio e umido, pieno di vermi e intriso di puzza, e nemmeno un bu spoglio, arido e secco, senza niente su cui sedersi né da mangiare: era un buco-hobbit, vale a dire comodo3." 

Nicky's shoulders relaxed against the cushions as he watched Joe read from the book Nicky had forgotten he still kept on a bottom shelf. There was a small furrow between his brows that belied his concentration, but Joe never stumbled over any of the words. It was a long time before Nicky could let his eyes close and just listen to the soothing timbre of Joe's voice.

~*~

The next evening, Nile arrived brandishing a small speaker. Nicky watched her place it on his side table by the sofa and plug it in.

"What's that for?" Nicky asked.

"Unlock your phone and give it here," Nile ordered without answering Nicky's question. 

Nicky frowned, but dutifully handed over his phone. Nile worked on his phone for a few minutes and then classical music began to play out of the speaker. 

"Joe figured having your earbuds in wouldn't be comfortable with the concussion," Nile explained, "so I'm letting you borrow my Sonos. You should probably get one for yourself if you like how it sounds."

"This was Joe's idea?" Nicky asked, warmth spreading through him at Joe's thoughtfulness.

"Kinda? I guess. He reminded us that you weren't really supposed to read or watch tv and asked if you listened to audiobooks or music much. I mentioned that you sometimes sit by yourself with your buds in to keep from strangling one of us or the kids, so…" Nile shrugged. "Think this will work?"

"Yes, thank you, Nile. If you have it, would you mind giving me Joe's number?"

"You don't already have it?"

"We've never needed it. We always met at the school."

"Wow." Nile looked at Nicky as if he was from the dark ages. "Here, I can add it to your contacts. I thought you weren't supposed to be using your phone?"

"A little bit is okay," Nicky clarified. "Are you staying if I order Chinese?"

Nile agreed to stay for dinner, but left soon after. 

_This is Nicky. Thank you for the speaker idea_ , he sent to Joe via text and received a quick response. 

_Hello Nicky. Only half my idea_

_Still, thanks_

_My pleasure. See you Friday?_

Joe had told Nicky that he had agreed to check in with Nicky again on Friday and an idea began to form in Nicky's mind. 

_Yes, that would be great_ , Nicky sent back. _Have a good night_

_You too_

Thursday was a much better day for Nicky. His headache had abated, though he was still careful to avoid the activities recommended by the doctors. He was able to find an audio version of a favorite historical novel and chose to listen to it in English, thinking he'd likely prefer Joe's voice speaking Italian over any others. 

Booker came by for dinner and gave Nicky some unexpected news—Merrick was no longer working for Bythewood. The rumor floating around was that several parents had approached Gina during the play expressing their concerns about the constant threats against Guardian. While the play had been more about preserving and showcasing Guardian, Booker and Nicky happily toasted to Merrick's demise.

On Friday, Nicky put his plan into action and timed a text to Joe when he knew the next period of classes were about to start, when Joe wouldn't have the time to question Nicky. 

_Not feeling very hungry today. Decide on dinner after you arrive?_

_Whatever you prefer. See you soon._

When Joe arrived at his house, Nicky greeted him with a wide smile and the smells of dinner cooking on the stove. 

"You cooked dinner?" Joe asked as he followed Nicky inside. 

"Mmhmm. I feel much better today and I wanted to thank you for all you've done for me."

"It was no hardship. You needn't have gone to any trouble."

Nicky shrugged and added the pasta to the pan. "[Spaghetti alla Gricia](https://www.tastingtable.com/cook/recipes/spaghetti-alla-gricia-italian-pasta-guanciale-cheese-easy) is not a difficult dish. My mother insisted we all learn to make it, I think, so she can request it when she visits."

"Is that guanciale?" Joe asked, stepping close to Nicky's back so he could look over his shoulder into the pan. Joe sounded pleasantly surprised and Nicky had to consciously keep himself from leaning back into him.

"It is. There is no good substitute. My sister found an online store that ships it frozen."

Joe stepped away, took two plates out of the cupboard, and placed them on the counter for Nicky just as he was ready to take the pan off the heat. 

"It looks and smells amazing, Nicky. Thank you."

Nicky turned and placed the plates on the table to hide his blush from Joe's praise, though it turned out to be a lost cause. Joe continued to praise Nicky as they ate dinner and it was impossible not to flush as Joe moaned happily around the first few bites.

"Where did you learn Italian?" Nicky asked as they worked together to clear the dishes and clean up the kitchen.

"I took classes at uni and lived in Italy for several years," Joe explained. "It's a beautiful language."

"You speak it very well."

"Thank you. I've enjoyed learning languages since I was a child, but am often better at speaking versus hearing."

Nicky nodded in understanding, thinking of his own accented English compared to Joe's lighter one. 

"I do still have some difficulty translating when it's spoken too quickly," Joe confessed. "Speaking of… The small theater is showing the undubbed version of [Il Gattopardo](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Leopard_\(1963_film\)) next Sunday. Would you like to see it together? You could help me with the portions that I don't catch quickly enough."

"I haven't seen that movie in a while. Yes, I'd love to go."

"Great! Hopefully watching the screen won't bother your head by then."

"I should be fine according to the doctor's instructions," Nicky assured him. "I'll be back at school on Monday and only need to moderate my focus for another week." 

Joe nodded as he dried the last dish and placed it back in the cupboard. Then he gave Nicky a small smile. "Would you like for me to read to you again?"

"Yes, please," Nicky responded eagerly as he returned the smile. He hadn't been sure how to approach making the request and shouldn't have been surprised that Joe would kindly extend the offer. 

They each refilled their water glasses and brought them out to the living room where the book was still sitting on the coffee table. Joe picked up the book, sat on the sofa, and extended an arm in invitation for Nicky to sit beside him. Nicky pressed in close and laid his head against Joe's shoulder as Joe began to read.

It wasn't until Joe left that Nicky began to fret. He replayed Joe's invitation over and over in his head and couldn't be certain if it was a date or an outing between friends. After Nicky had managed to give himself a new headache with his worry, he decided it didn't matter. He'd enjoy the night with Joe regardless. 

Nicky returned to school on Monday and was humbled by how many students had left cards and notes on his desk wishing him a speedy recovery. Then the week quickly turned hectic as Nicky worked to confirm that his students hadn't fallen behind while he was gone. He was tired enough by Friday to be glad that he had Saturday and Sunday to rest before he was scheduled to meet Joe at the theater.

They spent the movie leaned in close together so that Nicky could provide extra commentary without disturbing anyone else in the theater. Nicky relished each moment that Joe's beard tickled his cheek or his warm breath gusted across his ear. He also heard Joe's sharp intake of air whenever Nicky brought his lips close to share a whispered translation. They each felt on the verge of making that final quarter turn toward each other, but neither were quite ready to take that step. 

They had dinner at a nearby cafe after the movie where they discussed their opinions on the film and the Italian movie industry in general. Their conversation never waned, but they needed to end the night early due to work the next morning. Joe led them back to where they had parked and enveloped Nicky in a warm hug before they parted ways. It was, for now, the perfect way to end the evening.

~*~ 

The last Swear Bar, as per their custom, took place on the Monday of the final week of school. It was one of the smaller gatherings with only Nile, Nicky, Joe, Booker, and Andy in attendance.

As they waited for their drinks, Nicky caught Andy glancing interestedly at where Joe and Nicky were seated next to one another, with Joe's hand resting lightly on the back of Nicky's chair. However, if Andy had an observation to make, she kept it to herself. 

"To our innocent eighth graders headed off to high school," Booker toasted once their beers arrived, "may God save their souls."

Everyone laughed and raised their glasses.

"You make it sound like they're facing the gates of Hell," Joe said. "What's so wrong with high school?"

"High school was the worst," answered Nile with Andy and Booker nodding in agreement next to her. "All those hormones making everyone nuts, cliques everywhere, bullies, you name it." 

"I enjoyed high school," Joe admitted.

Andy pointed her glass toward Joe. "As the only popular jock at the table, your vote doesn't count."

"High school wasn't so bad," Nicky tried to help.

"Bullshit!" Booker fired back. "You told us you hated high school because of that jerk who stole your first kiss and broke your heart."

They were seated close enough together that Nicky felt Joe stiffen next to him at Booker's words.

"Then again," Nile was saying, "if the worst thing that happened to Nicky was getting kissed by a hot upperclassman, he had it easy. What was your worst high school experience, Andy?"

The conversation continued around them, but Nicky was acutely aware of the space Joe put between them. He had dropped his hand onto his lap and Nicky could tell that Joe wasn't as relaxed as he appeared. It came as no surprise when Joe quickly finished his pint of beer, then made excuses for leaving early.

"I'll walk you out," Nicky offered and stood before Joe could protest.

Neither of them spoke until they were standing next to Joe's bike, the silence unusually strained between them. Knowing Joe's kind nature, he likely believed he had ruined Nicky's high school experience and felt awful for it.

"Everything gets blown out of proportion when you're a teenager," Nicky tried to explain in the hopes of making Joe feel better. "They made it sound like a bigger deal than it really was. It wasn't. What happened then didn't matter."

Nicky didn't expect Joe to flinch and turn away, hiding the rest of his reaction within the motions of puting on his helmet. Joe climbed onto his bike and Nicky was at a loss for what to do next. 

"I really do need to be in early tomorrow," Joe said with a flat voice. "Goodbye, Nicky."

Nicky took a step backward so that Joe could start the bike. "Yeah, sure. I... I'll see you at school."

He watched Joe drive away knowing something was wrong, but unsure of exactly what it was or how to fix it. Nicky pressed his fingers against his forehead as if it would help him think and decided that maybe Joe needed some time to process the knowledge that he'd been Nicky's first kiss. He could only hope that Joe would understand that Nicky no longer held it against him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Nicky! Nicolò. Nicolò, wake up. Wake up. || I'm here. I'm here. Wherever here is. || We are at school. (Back)
> 
> 2\. Thank you, darling. || My head hurts. (Back)
> 
> 3\. [From 'The Hobbit' by J.R.R. Tolkien] Chapter one. An Unexpected Party. In a hole in the earth lived a hobbit. It was not an ugly, filthy, wet, worm-filled, stinky hole, nor a bare, dry, sandy hole with nothing to sit on or eat: it was a hobbit-hole, that is to say, comfortable. || Text from the Kindle Italian Version (Back)


	4. Exaltation

Joe avoided Nicky for the next few days and Nicky let him have his space, figuring that neither of them needed the added distraction as they closed out the school year. When his last student had left for the summer, Nicky took some time to straighten his classroom before walking to the art studio in search of Joe.

Nicky felt like he'd been doused in ice water when he saw the room. The art studio was dark and empty. All of the equipment was bagged for extended storage and anything that had personalized the room as Joe's was gone. 

Nicky rushed to Andy's office and entered without knocking.

"Andy! Why is the art studio empty?"

Andy looked calmly at Nicky from behind her desk. "Because it's the end of the school year?"

"But it's totally empty, not just closed down for the year."

"Oh, that. Yusuf only had a year contract."

"I thought the standard contract was five years?"

"He asked for a trial period in case things didn't work out. I thought things went well, but he said he needed more time to decide on signing the five year."

Nicky tried valiantly not to be crushed by disappointment. Had Joe known all along that he wasn't staying? Nicky had a difficult time believing Joe's time with them was anything but genuine, so maybe they just hadn't measured up to his prior life. 

"I... I suppose traveling through Europe is a more interesting prospect than teaching."

"Traveling through…" Andy looked at Nicky in disbelief. "Is that what you think Yusuf's been doing? Is that what he told you?"

"No, I…" Nicky realized that Joe never talked about his time before coming to Guardian. "I guess I just assumed."

"You need to talk to Yusuf. All I'm going to tell you is that it wasn't the vacation you make it sound like."

"Then why would Joe leave?" Nicky asked. "He seemed happy here and he's an amazing teacher."

"I think he'd appreciate hearing that, especially from you."

"Why me?"

"Oh _Nicolò_ , if you don't already know…" Andy sighed in disappointment and shook her head. "Then I'm definitely not the person who should be telling you."

The thing was, Nicky did know. If he were prone to romanticism, he'd say he's known since he was fourteen—and perhaps that was what Joe would claim. For Nicky, he'd known for sure the night Joe had spent hours reading 'The Hobbit' to Nicky in Italian. 

"Andy, may I have Joe's address?" Nicky requested and Andy handed over a slip of paper with an approving nod.

Nicky knew that Joe didn't live far from the school, needing to be close enough for him to walk when the weather was too dangerous for his motorcycle. Joe's apartment was not in a bad neighborhood, because those didn't really exist in this town, but it was in an older, more rundown area. The complex was spread out across several buildings and it took Nicky a few minutes to find the right one. Joe's apartment was on the bottom floor, tucked into the back corner of the building where little sunlight could filter between the trees and other buildings. Nicky frowned, saddened at the idea of Joe living in the dark. 

He took a fortifying breath and approached the door, still unsure of what exactly he'd say, but knowing he had to see Joe. Nicky raised his hand to knock and then startled as the door swung open. 

"Oh!" Joe exclaimed, then blinked in confusion. "Nicky. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you," Nicky answered honestly. He was done pretending that Joe wasn't a necessary part of his life. "I haven't seen you much this week and I missed you."

Joe looked as if he didn't know how to respond to Nicky's admission. 

"Were you headed somewhere?" Nicky asked and looked down to where Joe was still holding onto the handle of his door. 

"Oh. Not really. I was going for a walk in the park. I think better there."

"Where you can feel the sunlight on your face," Nicky agreed. "Would you mind if I came with you?"

Joe hesitated and, for a moment, Nicky thought he would say no. Then Joe gave Nicky a helpless smile. 

"I am always glad to have your company," Joe finally answered and Nicky smiled back in relief. 

The park was only a few blocks away, busy with families enjoying the late afternoon sun. Joe led them down the path which circled the perimeter of the park and Nicky was content to walk beside Joe in comfortable silence. 

Part way through their second circuit, Joe moved aside for a passing cyclist and came close enough to Nicky that their hands brushed. On a whim, Nicky snagged Joe's hand and intertwined their fingers. Joe shot him a look of surprise, but didn't pull his hand away. Nicky couldn't help smiling to himself as they continued their walk hand-in-hand.

"Andy told you I may be leaving?" Joe asked after a few more minutes.

"Yes," Nicky admitted. "I saw that the art studio had been emptied and I asked her why."

Joe's face shuttered before he turned away from Nicky. "The school—"

"I'm not here because you may leave the school," Nicky interrupted and squeezed Joe's hand until he looked back at him. "Or I am, but not _for_ the school. I'm here for—"

They had to dodge a group of joggers and Nicky used their joined hands to lead Joe toward an empty bench to avoid more interruptions. He kept a hold of Joe's hand as they sat and turned to face each other.

"I've watched you with the students and it's clear you love being a teacher," Nicky began. "Which makes me think there's another reason you're considering leaving."

Joe looked away again, but Nicky took it as a good sign that he didn't remove his hand from Nicky's light hold. 

"At the risk of sounding vain, I think that I may be the reason. I think you believe how I felt in high school impacts how I feel about you now, that I haven't forgiven you." Nicky watched Joe's shoulders tense and amended his thought. "Or that you don't think you should be forgiven."

Joe's sigh told Nicky he'd gotten it right. He waited patiently for Joe to meet his eyes. 

"I've been fighting my feelings for you since you arrived at Guardian," Nicky confessed. "At first, yes, it was because I was still nursing my old adolescent heartbreak."

Joe's hand twitched and he started to speak, but Nicky shook his head. He wanted a chance to finish before he lost his nerve.

"Then we became friends and I told myself it should be enough. I was afraid of wanting more because I knew I wouldn't be satisfied with anything less than everything. I resisted because I am absolutely awful at romantic relationships, which… well… may be your fault to begin with." 

Nicky laughed a little at his sudden self realization and soothed a thumb across Joe's knuckles when he frowned in apprehension. 

"There was no way for others to compare," Nicky explained, "when I'd already felt what it was like to have my heart stutter at receiving a smile or feel the warmth of kind words or the shock of a simple kiss. It's difficult to have a relationship when no one ever came close to making me feel the same as you had. Now, I no longer have any reason to deny how I feel, but I think there is still a lot about you I don't know and I want to know it all."

"What is it you want to know?" Joe asked softly, his eyes bright with hope.

Nicky thought for a moment and finally decided on what he believed would be a simple question. "How did you end up in Italy?"

"Oh. That's a bit of a long story."

Nicky gave Joe a reassuring smile. "I'm willing to listen if you're willing to tell me."

"Well… It really starts with my father dying when I was very young. I was raised primarily by my grandmother until it was decided that I should move to the States." 

"Decided?" Nicky asked because it sounded like Joe had had no say in the move. Nicky's family always allowed the children to speak their opinions before a move, which was how Nicky's youngest sister had convinced them to stay in San Diego permanently.

"It's how things happen in my family. The business needed someone to become familiar with American customs and thinking. I had an affinity for learning languages and was accustomed to different cultures from growing up in The Hague. So my uncle and I were sent to live near one of our offices in San Diego."

"The uncle you came out to?" Nicky asked and Joe looked impressed that Nicky had remembered that small piece of information. 

"No, not that uncle. His partner was not willing to move and my mother had other responsibilities that kept her in Europe. It was one of my older uncles who spoke English well and didn't mind leaving his family for a few years."

Nicky searched his memory, but didn't remember ever seeing Joe's uncle at any of their games. Joe's time in San Diego sounded very lonely, which probably explained why Joe had filled his time with friends and activities.

"My grandmother collapsed the night of my graduation party," Joe continued. "She asked for me, so I flew back on the next available flight. It was intended for me to come back and attend UCLA, but she had a… weakness in her brain, a blood vessel?"

Nicky nodded. "Aneurysm."

"We had no idea how long she would live and I didn't want to be an ocean away during her last days. My uncles could not deny her and I was allowed to transfer to Amsterdam, who were luckily interested in my football skills. When things had calmed, I tried to call Jake, but his number no longer worked."

"His family moved away that summer," Nicky relayed with a sigh. He couldn't help thinking of missed opportunities, but there was no changing the past. "What happened with your grandmother?"

"She lived for almost two more years and she spent most of that time encouraging me to follow a career in art. It was meeting Andy and becoming inspired by her freedom that finally convinced me to transfer mid-way through my second year. My family disowned me the day of my grandmother's funeral." 

Nicky recoiled in horror. "For doing what your grandmother wanted? For following what you were passionate about?"

"You have to understand that my family owns a decent portion of the Maghreb. We have been merchants for a millennia. _Everyone_ is expected to have some part in the business. They appreciate art as entertainment, but it cannot be a career."

"They didn't need to disown you."

"My mother and one uncle still speak with me, though they do not cross the others on the rest. To them, cutting me off was the most efficient way to teach me the error of my ways."

"That doesn't make it right!"

Joe smiled at Nicky fondly for his support. "I like to believe they honestly want the best for me. They just don't understand that luxury is not required for happiness."

"You are too kind."

"No, at first I was arrogant, thinking I could make enough of a career in football to not need their money."

"Then you got hurt." Nicky clutched at Joe's hand in sympathy.

"I had been adamant about finishing my degree, which I do not regret, but it meant I gave up a few years I could have played for a club. When I was injured, the club offered to pay for surgery in exchange for an unbreakable contract."

"And you said no?"

Joe nodded with a wry twist to his lips. "That's when my stubbornness reared its head. I had just escaped my family. The club contract seemed like selling my soul to a different demon." 

"I understand that. I think I would have made the same decision in your place."

Joe gave Nicky another fond smile and lifted Nicky's hand to place a kiss against it. Nicky felt a shiver run down his spine at the touch of Joe's lips on his skin and berated himself internally not to get deflected from this conversation. 

"And Italy?" Nicky prodded.

"My flatmate from uni offered me a place to stay and I jumped at it. He didn't tell me we'd be living in such a small place with three other friends. We were the perfect example of starving artists!" Joe laughed.

"You don't make it sound so bad." 

"It was tough, but I learned so much about what is and isn't important in life. I learned how to fix up houses and how to mend my own clothes and so many things to help me survive. I also learned that making art for others wasn't my passion. I did have one piece put on display in a small museum showcasing modern interpretations of classic art, but I found I had no desire to take on additional commissions. I much preferred to keep my art personal, a way to preserve my memories."

"What _was_ your passion?" Nicky asked, though he had a fair guess already.

"Encouraging children to have the same love of art as my grandmother instilled in me. One of my many small jobs was a few hours a week teaching at a primary school. Watching the way the childrens' eyes lit up when they created something was pure joy."

"That's how I feel when a student falls in love with a novel I assign or finds a connection to history. It's as if their discovery exudes an energy that extends right into your heart."

"Exactly!" Joe exclaimed and they grinned at each other for a long moment, happy to know they were kindred spirits.

"So you discovered your love of teaching, but then you started acting?"

"Food was a necessity," Joe reminded Nicky. "I had gone to the theater to help a friend read lines and the director offered me the role of another actor who had broken his leg. They paid well enough for me to continue with them while I took some classes on education. Then we were asked to do a run in New York and that's when Andy talked me into staying."

"No immigration issues?"

"Andy or Quynh know someone at the consulate." Joe shrugged. "I didn't ask for too many details aside from ensuring it was legal."

"Were you really thinking of going back to work for your family?"

"They contacted me around the same time Andy had convinced me to sign the one year contract. My family sent word through my mother—an offer for me to head a digital art department that I could station at The Hague. I was very tempted before I started at Guardian."

"And now?"

"It would be practical to go back. I have so many debts. But it's hard to make that choice and I… I would be telling only half the truth if I said I want to stay because I enjoy teaching."

"Only half?" Nicky teased, even as he felt his heart thudding wildly in his chest. 

Joe gave him a small smile and then lifted his free hand to cup Nicky's jaw gently. "Being with you again feels like destiny," he said seriously. 

"Like we were meant to find each other," Nicky agreed. 

Joe nodded and leaned closer.

"Please stay," Nicky whispered, his lips a hair's breadth away from Joe's.

"As you wish."

Joe placed another feather-light kiss on the corner of Nicky's mouth and Nicky's eyes fluttered closed. He experienced the same breathless thrill as before, but this time, Joe didn't pull away. Joe ghosted his lips across Nicky's until he could press their mouths together into their first full kiss. Their lips moved softly against one another as they slowly learned the contours of each other's lips and savored their first taste of one another. Nicky felt an unquestionable rightness in their kisses, a sense of coming home after too long apart. 

They continued to kiss gently until there was a loud shriek that startled them apart. A group of children ran past and Nicky's face flushed in embarrassment. He had been completely lost in their kisses and forgotten where they were. From the shell shocked look on Joe's face, he had done the same. 

"Maybe we should go somewhere else," Nicky suggested. 

Joe nodded as he looked around the park to check if they'd garnered any undue attention. "It's a little early, but would you like to go to dinner?"

"Dinner would be nice," Nicky agreed and then hummed in thought. "Though I don't feel much like sitting in a restaurant. Maybe we could have dinner back at your place?"

"My kitchen is much too small to cook for company, but there is a good falafel place that does takeout nearby. It's along the longer route back to my apartment."

"That sounds great."

Joe and Nicky stood, their hands still clasped together as they left the park. Joe kept a hold of Nicky's hand while they waited for their food and through the walk back to Joe's apartment, not separating until Joe needed both hands to unlock the door. 

Nicky couldn't help wrinkling his nose in distaste when Joe let them inside. He didn't mind that the apartment was small, but there was no personality to it, nothing that signified it belonged to Joe. The walls were bare and white, there were few furnishings, and the sight of it reminded Nicky too much that Joe could have left without a trace. 

"Would you like some wine?" Joe asked and broke Nicky out of his thoughts. 

"Yes, please," Nicky answered, accepting a glass as Joe laid their dinner out on the counter. 

They ate sitting on barstools at the counter, easily sharing their plates of food as if they'd always done so. When Joe held out a piece of baklava, Nicky took a bite without hesitation and nipped playfully at Joe's fingers. Joe retaliated by very slowly licking the syrup from his fingers before shooting Nicky an overly salacious wink that made them both laugh.

There had been an undercurrent of anticipation between them since the park, but neither of them felt the need to rush it. There was still a conversation Nicky wanted to finish. 

"So… your graduation party," Nicky said as they continued to sit at the counter while finishing their wine. 

Joe groaned and dropped his face into his hand. "Do we have to talk about it?"

"I would like to, yes. I have questions."

"I should not have kissed you. You were right to be angry. I took advantage. It was… wrong."

"Because…" Nicky prodded and Joe lifted his head to stare at him in shock.

"You were fourteen! I had just graduated high school."

"It's not like you ravaged me and we're really only three years apart in age."

"The gap of those three years was much wider then," Joe argued.

"Okay, so then why did you kiss me?"

"I shouldn't have."

"That's not what I asked."

"I couldn't help myself," Joe finally admitted. "You were… like a… like a raccoon!"4

"A what?!"

Joe continued as if he hadn't heard Nicky. "Angry, brave, fierce, and so very adorable."

"Like a raccoon?" Nicky asked with bemusement. 

Joe nodded emphatically. "I was drawn to you like a beacon on a cloudy night. I remember noticing you the first few weeks, scowling angrily at everything and everyone. Then you took Dan Mooney down with one punch, stood over him with your fists clenched, and dared him to stand up so you could do it again."

Nicky grimaced. "You saw that?"

"It was amazing! It was also the first time I heard your voice, your accent. I was intrigued."

"I had no idea you knew who I was until practice."

"Ah! That's right. I'd almost forgotten." Joe rubbed at the side of his head as if he felt the phantom pain of the ball striking him. 

"Not a great first impression."

"But not my actual first impression of you, so it was all right. And you really did have one hell of a boot."

"I thought you were just being nice, like you were to everyone." 

Joe frowned. "You always looked as if you didn't understand why I talked to you at all." 

"I didn't, to be honest."

"You underestimate your own appeal. Every small bit of yourself that you revealed hinted at the treasure still hidden. You were kind hearted and thoughtful and sincere. It was impossible for me to stay away, then and now. Even when I first arrived at Guardian and I realized your memories of me were not as fond, I couldn't stop myself from trying to be close to you. You are an addiction I would gladly succumb to."

"And that's why you kissed me? Because you couldn't help yourself?"

"I knew I needed to give you time to get older and I…" Joe sighed, looking shamefaced. "I selfishly didn't want you to forget me while you did. It tears at me to know I hurt you, that a memory I treasured only brought you pain."

"Is that why you ran away on Monday?"

"I only thought you had forgotten and was shocked to learn I had hurt you so deeply. Then I began to think it was better that I left before I hurt you again."

Nicky started to automatically form a denial to soothe Joe, but stopped himself. He and Joe deserved his honesty.

"Yes, your disappearance hurt," Nicky admitted. "When I think back on it now, I know I was confused. Everything between us, including the kiss, brought me joy and I didn't know how to connect it to the pain of you leaving. It was better to live with the heartache because it meant I didn't have to forget the rest. It was easy to forgive you because all you've ever shown me since you arrived is that you're still the caring boy I remembered."

"I would take away the pain if I could."

"I know you would. But I can't regret the kiss because it worked. I'm sorry for claiming it meant nothing. Even when I was angry, I couldn't deny how treasured you'd made me feel. I didn't want to forget the kiss or you."

Joe leaned forward and his eyes shone with emotion. "Would you like to know why I learned Italian? Why I jumped at the chance to move to Italy?"

Nicky's eyes widened at what Joe was insinuating. It seemed too impossible that they had both been so significantly impacted by what had occurred in their youth. Joe reached out and cupped Nicky's jaw like he had at the park, his expressive eyes imploring Nicky to believe.

"I thought that maybe your family moved back. If there was a small chance to see you again, even with a country as large as Italy, I wanted to take it. By the time I traveled with the theater troupe, I had lost hope. Andy offered me a change and I took it, never imagining that's how I'd find you again."

Nicky leaned into Joe's hand and sighed. "And I rewarded your devotion by being a complete ass the first few weeks."

"It was endearing," Joe assured him with an enamored smile. "My little raccoon worried about his funding, not for himself, but for his students."

Nicky chose to ignore the unfortunate animal association and reached up to grip Joe's arm lightly. "I want you to know that you're an amazing teacher. The kids have all flourished with you at Guardian. No matter what happens between us, I want the kids to have you as their teacher."

Joe's thumb swept across Nicky's cheek and stopped at the corner of his mouth, at the same spot Joe had kissed him all those years ago. 

"And what do you want for yourself, Nicky?"

Nicky licked his lips and watched as Joe's eyes darkened in response. 

"What I want," Nicky answered slowly, "is a chance to be with the man I've been half in love with since I was fourteen."

Joe smiled, delighted, and then ducked his head. He looked up at Nicky through his lashes. "Only half?"

Nicky surged forward and kissed Joe as his answer, stepping off the stool completely to move even closer. Joe opened up to his kiss immediately and turned so that Nicky could step between Joe's knees as they continued to kiss. This kiss had the same feeling of rightness as the one in the park, but the softness was replaced with a passion that quickly engulfed them both. 

Nicky pulled away with a gasp, his lungs burning for air, and opened his eyes to look down at Joe. The emotion he saw in Joe's eyes stole any air Nicky had managed to take in. 

"I want to cherish you," Joe said with a voice roughened with want. 

Until that moment, Nicky wouldn't have believed that a single statement could be imbued so deeply with both lust and love. It made Nicky's knees weak and he leaned further into Joe.

"Please…" 

Nicky barely recognized his own voice, breathless and filled with need. He felt overwhelmed already and they were still fully clothed. Joe stood, keeping Nicky pressed against him with a hand low on his back. Their lips came together and stayed together as Joe maneuvered them into the bedroom. 

True to his word, Joe stripped Nicky slowly and reverently, lavishing each exposed sliver of skin with a touch of his lips or his tongue until Nicky was vibrating with desire. Nicky did his best to return the favor, but grew impatient with the need to feel Joe's bare body pressed against his. They shed the rest of Joe's clothes with haste and tumbled onto the bed together. 

Every sensation was new and electric, yet also weighted with an unexplained familiarity, as if their bodies were molded to fit together seamlessly. They diligently explored each other for the first time and seemed to know instinctively how to wring the most pleasure from one another. When their bodies made that final connection, it was as if they'd never been apart. 

As Nicky caught his breath, he realized that he only now understood what it meant to be and have a lover. No other sexual encounter Nicky had had could compare to the ecstasy and intimacy of being with Joe. The love Nicky felt was undeniable and as his eyes met Joe's, he was filled with a certainty that it was equally returned.

~*~ 

"How long is your lease here?" Nicky asked later as they lay entangled together on Joe's bed, neither of them ready to sleep.

The bedroom walls, like the rest of the apartment, were bare and there was nothing in the room that hinted at the personality of the man in Nicky's arms. 

"I'm monthly," Joe responded. "Why do you ask?"

"It doesn't feel like you. The art studio was filled with your presence until you cleaned it out. This apartment feels… like nothing."

Nicky felt Joe smile into his hair. "You are very astute. This was only a place to sleep. I put my energy where it was needed."

Nicky looked around again and remembered that Joe hadn't been sure if he was staying. It made sense that Joe wouldn't want to personalize someplace that may have been temporary. It didn't mean he had to continue living in an apartment that didn't suit him. 

"We could find you a new place," Nicky suggested and then turned his head to look up at Joe, "or you could come live with me?"

Joe's eyes widened in shock, but Nicky could already imagine all the places in his house that Joe could add his touch to and make it a home for them both. 

"The downstairs guest bedroom gets the most sun and could be converted into your home studio," Nicky suggested and then faltered when Joe only continued to stare at him. "Is it… Would that be moving too fast to live together so soon?"

Joe smiled, shook his head, and gave Nicky a soft kiss. "I think the idea of moving fast depends on when you consider we began."

"Is that a yes?" Nicky pressed.

"Yes, I would love to live with you. I promise I had no bad habits that my flatmates in Florence complained about."

"Florence. Is that where you lived in Italy?"

"Yes, mostly. I was also able to visit Venice and Rome for a time."

"My family is from Genoa."

Joe hummed. "I never thought to go there. My ear was not so attuned back when we first met and you only ever spoke English. I've only heard you speak your native tongue when you were concussed and then again tonight."

Nicky blushed at the memory and Joe grinned with delight as he brushed his fingers against the pink on Nicky's cheeks. Nicky's words of praise and encouragement had unconsciously reverted to Italian as they'd made love, Nicky unaware of what he was doing until Joe persuaded him to keep talking. 

"To be fair," Nicky said, "my cousins say my sisters and I no longer sound Genoese. I think it's because we moved so much as children."

"I no longer remember much Derja5, for a similar reason."

"Derja?"

"It is the dialect spoken in the Maghreb. My family originates from Tunisia, but my grandmother was from the Netherlands, which is where we moved to after my father died. There, I was taught Dutch and Arabic, then learned English along with French and German to speak with foreigners."

"Will you teach me Arabic?" Nicky asked, wanting to learn even though he knew it was one the more difficult languages to master. He still hoped to meet Joe's family someday, or at least his mother and uncle.

"Habibi, ya nour el ein," Joe said softly and then translated, "My love, you are the light of my eye."

Nicky's heart caught on the word 'love'. It was difficult to retain the rest, but he didn't think Joe intended him to.

"Hayati," Joe continued. "My life. Albi. My heart."

"Habibi," Nicky said to see Joe's smile. "Sei l'amore della mia vita," he added in Italian because it was the truth. "You are the love of my life," he repeated in English for the joy of saying it again.

Nicky no longer had to rely on beliefs and wishes to know that Joe loved him and wanted him above all others. Their story would forever feel like an impossible, amazing tale, but it didn't matter what destiny allowed their paths to cross. They would build the rest of their lives on the love and friendship they now shared. What began with a kiss and a dream had become a bond that would never break.

~ _fin_ ~ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4\. Inspired by the TOG fandom on tumblr and especially this [adorable fanart](https://fereldenturnip.tumblr.com/post/627551486719737856/j-he-even-hisses-like-you-q-hes-not-a-very) (Back)
> 
> 5\. Great tumblr reference posts for vocabulary in [Standard Arabic](https://hottopicmonk.tumblr.com/post/630086486832857088/modern-standard-arabic-vocabulary-sadeeq-a) and [Derja](https://hottopicmonk.tumblr.com/post/630164029175889920/modern-derja-vocabulary-derja-is-the-tunisian) (Back)


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